Twelve Billion Is Cheap

It cost the taxpayers $800 billion back in 08.

It was the Bankers back then.

They cutsie-pooed their tranches of tranches of tranches of "shit" (quoting The Big Short) into a fucking catastrophe.

The current cosmic vibration left behind by that fucking catastrophe, this time, will cost a mere $12,000,000,000.

To be paid to the farmers.

And the farmers didn't do anything.

To deserve to need that bailout.

Except to farm.

And grow stuff.

Like soybeans.

I think I have heard that this is their best crop in years.

So the farmers aren't cutsie pooing anything.

This time the fucking catastrophe was more like a fucking fuck up.

donnie likes tariffs.

Cutsie-pooh tariffs.

Irrational, unexpected, capricious and arbitrarily applied.

TARIFFS.

"I AM THE PRESIDENT", HE IS FREQUENTLY HEARD TO SAY TO HIS MIRROR AS HE APPLIES HIS DAILY ORANGE. 

That poor mirror.

She is kinda stupid, kinda blonde and totally, hostile and vapid.

But she is the president's mirror.

So, what she says counts in donnieLand.

She hums, she sings, she does rotating flings - all for donnie.

"Yes Mr. President; yes Mr. President; yes Mr. President; you are the fairest of them all".

So, he attacked China with 145% tariffs.

Or some number.

Doesn't matter with donnie.

It changes every morning.

Before he has taken his wolf pills for the day.

And when he's still applying his orange du donnie.

Anyway, China said "fuck you very much we will buy our soybeans from now on from Brazil, and Argentina".

So, America's farmers have a bumper crop of soybeans with no place to sell them.

On the surface, that looks to be an undesirable position in which to be.

"In amelioration of your situation I shall send you twelve billion dollars in the next post" donnie said to the farmers today.

He's trying to sound old fashioned by saying "shall" and "the next post". 

I think Karoline Leavitt - his mirror - told him to say, "in amelioration". 

That kind of shit gets a lot of farmers to like him. 

She is pretty sure.

Somebody told her that farmers like big guys with big vocabularies.

So, donnie to farmers: "We have all this tariff money, you know".

"Paid by China".

"And you can feed the beans to the pigs".

"Gettysburg Address level", saith the mirror.