This sounded so much like Catch 22 that I had to ask Copilot if I was remembering correctly.
I asked her:
General Sheisskopf, when he was a lieutenant, made his career on having parades. One time circumstances that I can't recall caused him to be forbidden to have parades. Heller creates a scene where Sheisskopf refuses to be checkmated in his inexorable march to the top, so he issues a memo that says something like "due to circumstances beyond .my control, Sunday's parade has been cancelled". Can you find the exact quote?
Copilot said:
The memo Colonel (later General) Scheisskopf issues reads:
“Due to circumstances beyond my control, the parade scheduled for Sunday afternoon has been cancelled.”
This is the line as it appears in Catch‑22, Chapter 29 (“Peckem”).
It matches the scene you’re remembering: Scheisskopf has finally been given authority to not hold parades, but to cancel them — even though none were ever scheduled in the first place.
The absurdity is the point.
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I guess donnie is going to corner the Egyptian cotton market next.
