I almost wrote this as a fiction follow on to my "Don't Mess With Texas" post earlier today.
But I didn't.
I wish I had.
Now it's just news - not even fake news; it's the real undeniable Ted Turnaround.
Wednesday Ol' Ted got so cold he flew off to Mexico - with his family.
Left his dog behind in the house.
"Dogs don't freeze" he assured the family.
They might need water, though.
But there isn't any water in Texas homes right now, so even if the dog could turn the spigot, the question of whether they need water is moot.
The fact that Ol' Ted had his family with him was fortuitous for him because after his constituents got wind of his taking up residence in the Cancun Ritz to ride out the Game of Thrones like climate in Houston he had to slither back post haste.
The politics of his Mexico slither got pretty hot pretty fast.
So, with singed tail feathers Ol' Ted slithered on to a plane and slithered off in Houston.
After completing that come back slither he had to have some rational explanation for his went to Mexico slither.
The truth of course is that patricians like him and his family don't need to contend with frozen pipes; that's almost an admission of being a commoner.
And besides a cold freezing house is really uncomfortable.
The truth then was obviously politically untenable.
So he trumped up a facile lie; he said he had to go to escort his daughters to Mexico.
That's exactly what I thought he would say.
The minute I heard that he had slithered off to Mexico I imagined that it was going to get so politically hot that Ol' Ted would have to slither back to Houston real fast.
I had the whole story formulated; I just didn't write it and post it.
I so regret that.
But now it's too late.
Now it's actual news: slithery ted has slithered north and given his family as the reason that he had slithered off to Mexico in the first place.