From some news report in the near future:
"The Daily Body Count Index (DBCI) today hit a historic low - 789.
"It is thought that shutting off the Proud Boys' Corridor (PBC) in the West and the Oath Keeper's Corridor (OKC) in the East have kept down mass murders of black people, because today's increment of Black Lives Matter Component (BLMC) of the DBC was only 500.
"It is thought that the significant reduction in the BLMC component of the DBCI is due to the humanitarianly co-operative efforts of the trump administration and the republican - often called the trumpy toadies rump legislature (ttrl).
"One must thank god that the legitimate mass murder of citizens authorized by the Second Amendment of the Constitution on the United States of America continues unabated.
"Only today a patriot killed a thousand people in a massive Costco in Bethesda Maryland.
"That will be reflected in tomorrow's DBCI.
"A lot of black people live in Bethesda, so it is thought that the recent downward trend in the BLMC will pause; but, on balance, long term black elimination looks to be on schedule, crocodile tears notwithstanding.
"All Proud Second Amendment Families (PSAFs) also known as god fearing white folks (GFWF) wish the perpetrator god speed.
"Bonfire dances will be announced as appropriate.
"In related news, the ttrl is imminently going to pass a two trillion-dollar bill funding the America Stands Firm Against The World (previously known as the Department of Defense, and even more previously known as the Department of War, now known as ASFATW) budget for the next year.
"It will include M-16s - one each for every white adult male citizen - and Glock 19's for all white citizens (it is thought that women and children, having smaller hands will be better served with the more portable Glock weapon, while the men are well served with one of each).
"Of course that allotment will include an appropriate parallel allotment of magazines and a million bullets per magazine.
"And, finally, every school in America gets an Abrahms Tank and the men to deploy it.
"Additionally, every schoolteacher in America will get a flame thrower.
"In an equally jugular vein, Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid have been discontinued.
"In another, equally positive vein, the Go Through The Arch Of Serfdom Act (GTTAOSA) is awaiting a signature.
"Exactly whose signature is at this point uncertain, but, rest assured, it will be signed.
"But, once signed, all Americans of less than a billion dollars in net worth will be assigned billets in various Strategic Food Farms (SSFs)
"Imminently.
"There are reports that Jackson is being bombed by small nuclear arms - humanitarianly small to contain the damage - as this dispatch is being written, but communication with that Confederate Area Sector Of The Vestiges Of Our Country (CASOVOOC) are currently blocked.
"So we have no specifics.
"If true, tomorrow's BLMC of the DBCI will be somewhat elevated.
"We look forward to being of continued service at the Clandestine Voice Of What Used To Be America (CVOUTBA).
"We call ourselves colloquially The Wolverines."
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